tears.

I'm crying when I write this.

You know the feeling when you like someone, trying to take his heart, in many ways, but he don't realise ? You know ? I know, I'm feeling it right now. This is suck. I hate this feeling. I don't know. This is the first time I feel this way. The feeling is not same when I brokeup with my boyfriend. Totally not same.

This is the first time I like someone so damn much until I put his picture as my wallpaper. I'm not lying bout this feeling. I'm shaking when I see he tweet another woman.

I'm shaking when I knew that he's with her. I'm shaking when I knew he's sad because she broke his heart. I'm totally shaking when he get to her, again. I'm shaking like hell. I wanna bite my lips so hard until it got cut.

I'm crying every single day because he don't realise me. Every single day when I saw his name. Every single day when I saw his picture.

I really hate this feeling. I'm totally hate this. I don't want to die before he know my feeling. I hate this feeling. This is totally suck.

Why I can't be in love with someone who is single and he realise my existence ? Why ? Am I to hard too handle ? Am I too ugly to see ? Am I too fat to make someone like me ? Am I ?

I've promise myself that I won't cry anymore. But I can't. My tears will easily going down when I saw he and she tweeting each other. I don't care about her. Only I want is him. This feeling is suck.

She, on the other hand, pretty, slim, club girl, smoking weed (I guess) , drink (I guess). What ? Is that type of person you want to walk with you in your wedding day ? Am I have to be that type of girl, then someone will realise me ?
I guess I am.

I don't know. This feeling is too hard to handle. I'm still crying right now. Fuck. I hate this.

I don't want to date a film star. I don't want to date a movie director. I don't want to date a singer. I just want to date with someone who will take care of me. Who see me in my worst day with smile. I don't want to date a perfect man. Is enough if that man can take care of me every single day. I saw that in you. Only in you.

But yeah. I can't change the destiny. I can't change what has happen. If we were born to be together, no one can change that destiny right ? I hope we were. Because I've never feel this. Its totally different when I'm with my ex months ago.

So. That's it. I hate this feeling. I hate the tears that run down when I see you with her. I just hate it. I hope someone will be there to wipe this tears. One day. Someone like you.